Janelle in college
Janelle in high school
- Surgery often transforms people with oral facial defects from being being shunned to being accepted.
In interviews conducted by Quora, this one by Janelle caught my eye because of her insights. Her proximity to where I live helped, too. She lives in a nearby city and milieu that I’m familiar with. Other interviewees in Quora’s Q & A project live in parts of the world where I don’t know high school socialization customs and standards of beauty as well.
What does it feel like to go from physically unattractive to physically attractive?
These excerpts from Janelle suggest an answer:
“I was a dorky band girl, with few friends who would spent her free time at the library….I still spend a lot of time at the library and maybe consider myself even dorkier, the only thing that has changed these past several years is how I look….
Through this process I came to realize that people treat others drastically different depending on how they look. Sometimes just thinking about the stark contrasts of treatment makes me sad. …
[I]n High School I was very shy, but I managed to ask several male friends to attend prom with me and I was turned down by all of them. One even responded, “I’ll go with you if there is no one else left to go with.” …
In high school, I was never asked out. I was never approached by anyone. I realized that men don’t even care to talk to you as friend if you are not moderately attractive (at least high school aged “men”). Maybe that’s a bit of a blanket statement, but it was definitely my experience. I was far from attractive or completely charming, but I would say that I was worth having as a friend.”
The ugly duckling becomes a swan.
“This didn’t change until the end of my Freshman year of college. Guys started wanting to talk to me, period. It was the first time I had experienced being approached and I almost didn’t even know how to handle it! I felt flattered that anyone wanted to talk to me, let alone BE NICE!…[M]en are constantly approaching me for random, crazy reasons just to talk, and I am sometimes told by new people I meet how “pretty” I am. I feel like I can’t go a week without getting harassed by some new guy. …
With this being said, it hasn’t changed me and I don’t take these people seriously, because I understand that these people DON’T really care about me. I know they won’t be there to look the 50 year old me in the eye and tell me how beautiful my spirit, attitude, and courage is to them….”
Do you now take advantage of your looks?“I don’t think about ‘using” looks as much as I think about treating people kindly despite how they may look.”
My latest book, PRIVILEGED KILLERS, is a true story about a half-dozen Dark Triad people in my everyday life - narcissists, manipulators, and psychopaths. Three of 'em murdered people, and one came after my wife and me. Print and e-book versions of this (and CLEFT HEART) available at Amazon and elsewhere online. Also at your local bookstore.
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